You could join a gym, but during the holidays, who has time for locker rooms and saunas when you have halls to deck with boughs of holly? You could take up jogging, but unless you’re a lucky West Coaster, like myself, it’s colder than a witch’s tit outside.

Then when you went Black Friday shopping at Stupid O’Clock, you realize you can’t dash as fast as you thought you could in order to get that discount combo Blu-Ray player/toaster/weed-whacker you wanted at half off. You filled up on turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and a little bit of green bean casserole because nobody really likes it but you all make it anyway and yams and cranberry sauce not the fresh stuff the sh*t from the can because you don’t give a rat’s ass that far into the meal prep and beer and wine and more beer and more wine and leftover turkey and leftover stuffing and there wasn’t any leftover mashed potatoes because your Weird Uncle Ed ate the last bit drowning his sorrows from the demolishing the Cowboys were dealt again this year and leftover yams and more wine and beer and a small slice of pumpkin pie because you don’t want to go TOO far off your diet.

2012 just dance download